no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
