Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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