fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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