oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
