We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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