she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
