Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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