We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
