You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
