It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
