His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize