so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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