see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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