New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
