That's intense
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
