I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
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I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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