she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
