When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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