Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
