you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize