also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
