Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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