So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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