Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Randomize
