i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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