he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
