walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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