Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
