Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
did i just pee glitter
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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