Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
