She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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