using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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