I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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