I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
