She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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