that's an acceptable place to lick
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
