Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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