she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
