she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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