I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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