we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
