there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
