I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
