I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
