I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
