I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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