You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize