Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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