Swine flu. Run for my life!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
