Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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