Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
