she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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