My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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