I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
