I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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