she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
