I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
