i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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