I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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