Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
