Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
