They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
