so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
